When I have a big mood

I get a little ‘tude

And I sound a little rude

I don’t mean to sound rude

But when I have a big mood

It doesn’t fit in my nood-

le of a brain and protrudes

Through my words and exudes

My space until it’s been spewed

Across the place and once

It’s all been spewed

And there is no more mood

I’ll say sorry for being rude

And then my best dude

We can go grab some food

Behind the Poem...Bedtime

I wrote this poem around 11pm sitting in bed. I had a bad day, and was feeling pretty snippy. I don't remember what my day was about, just that it was frustrating to the point I was having a hard time sleeping. So I did what I usually do and poured myself into my work until I was too tired to keep going and fell asleep. I keep saying this, but these poems and drawings and such are my outlet. I get big moods sometimes. It's not usually very productive to act on them, especially in the moment. So instead I write about my "nood-le of a brain". It genuinely makes me feel better. 

I've heard that happiness is a short term feeling that is typically triggered by things in your immediate environment. Satisfaction, on the other hand, comes from work that you've accomplished. Writing, even in short spurts like 20 line poems, feels like a type of work for me. Not in the same sense that a laborious hands-on job does, but it's something I do have to put my mind to and be considerate about for a period of time. It's something I have control over, and something I want to do well. When I do it well, I feel accomplished and satisfied with what I've done. I feel like I've gotten my "big moods" out of my system in a productive and thoughtful way. It oddly enough helps me sleep sometimes because it forces me to process my thoughts in a linear way rather than letting them spin. 

I know there is research on how writing and daily journals are legitimately helpful to people, which is fantastic. But I'm not a psychologist, so I don't want to get into all of that here. I just think it's cool to have that experience, where even on the daily frustrations like feeling overworked or annoyed, you can write about it and feel a little better. 

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