Some animals are mailable…

Published on 14 September 2022 at 13:37

According to the United States Postal Service:


Some animals are mailable

So are the ashes of your grandma

But don’t mail a motor vehicle master key

Because that’s against the law

Behind the Poem...USPS

There are times when you are working an administrative job where you have to just sit back and laugh at your computer. I was getting together some customs labels for a shipment out of country through UPS when I came across this beautiful piece of information: you cannot ship a motor vehicle master key. When you go through the process of shipping something out of country, you get a link to a list of restricted items and rules that you must agree to. Generally, these are things like weapons, chemicals, and other dangerous items so that the recipient isn't threatened. However, if you're bored in your office and don't want to actually do your job, you can find a much more detailed listing of what is and isn't allowed. Some of the allowed items being things like insects and plants, and people's ashes. You can imagine my face when I saw the literal phrase "some animals are mailable" before reading that they really mean crickets.

I mean, holy crap. I couldn't work for like 20 minutes. Obviously, the only rational thing to do was write a ridiculous poem and draw a mailbox on a sticky note. It's just not reasonable to ask someone to create a shipping label after reading that. It's just not.

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Liberty Jensen • Writer

Liberty is a donations manager, finance student, and full-time drinker of coffee. She enjoys poetry, her cats, and spending time with her husband.

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