Time Blind

Time blind

What's to wind

The clock won't ever tick right

An hour, a day

What did you say?

A year went away? What is today?

Where did it go?

What's the calendar hold?

I see no box for the time to go

It's in the clock

Tickity tock

I'll break the clock

Look in and tell the time to stop

I'm old, I'm grey!

I was young today

I was even younger yesterday

Make it stop,

Tell it to stop!

I'm going to miss all that I want

I'll miss my wedding

I'll miss my dreams

I'll miss my time to eat the ice cream

I'll miss my career

I'll miss my degree

I'll miss being eighty-three

Why does it tick round and round

While I stand here to watch

To scowl and frown

I want my life 

I want to see

Stop spinning all around me

The world's on a wheel

It keeps rolling by

I'll push and I'll try

But it'll keep going 'round

Spinning away

Until I miss every day

I'll miss every day

Behind the Poem...A Problem

The idea for this poem topic is my own experience with the passage of time. The vibe, however, full on Don't Hug Me I'm Scared Episode 2: "Time is an object you hang on the wall/ or wear it on your wrist/ The past is far behind us/ The future doesn't exist/." I think about this video WAY more often than I'd like to admit, haha.
But seriously though, I really don't have a great concept of how much time has passed. I can pretty well guess what time of day it is, or roughly how long I've been working on a specific thing when I'm in the moment. Like, I will know if I've been scrolling through Instagram for about half an hour. But how long it's been since I've done something? No clue. Probably a year? Maybe 3 months? And if I don't have a lot going on in a day, then my day just feels jumbled up and wasted. I'm really not a great customer service representative for this reason - I'll have a sticky note telling me to look into someone's order for 2 weeks and still assume it's been 2-3 business days. 
I'm not sure what it is, but I think having plenty of notable breaks in my day helps. That or a consistent routine (even if it's a boring routine). If I don't have either of those things in a day, it heavily messes with me. I will go to bed and my brain does not understand why it's not 3pm still. It's frustrating and feels like I've just missed the last 24 hours of my life in some way, even though it was an overall good day. 
Maybe its just my procrastinating mind that's saying "it's fine. Leave that sticky note another day. They won't notice." And I know that being off routine messes with a lot of people. It doesn't affect me to the point of needing help with it, but it's definitley soemthing I think about and get a bit frustrated with here and there. Everything is moving around me, and if I don't make 6 lists to stay straight it will move right by me. I like experiencing my day - I don't want to miss a bit of it. I just need that clock to slow down a little from time to time.

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